.rev.ol.ver.

you're an unrescuable schizo

2006-05-04T17:42:46Z

-Never read "Girl, Interrupted" by Susanna Kaysen.
The things she writes about her thinking and past will actually start making sense to you.

-Never talk to people you think you trust about your problems. Write them down somewhere instead, and when you look back you'll laugh at yourself being so friggin' naive.

-Never ask for something, you might actually get it.

-Never make toasts while writing a journalentry, they will get stuck and make the firealarm go off, rofl.

"there's no end to the love you can give
when you change your point of view to underfoot
very good
you may be flat but you're breathing

and there's no doubt he's at home in his room
probably watching porn of you from the fall
it's last call

and you're the last one leaving
and you thought you could change the world
by opening your legs
well it isn't very hard
try kicking them instead
and you thought you could change his mind
by changing your perfume to the kind his mother wore
o god delilah why?
i never met a more impossible girl....

in this same bar where you slammed down your hand
and said “Amanda, i'm in love”
no you're not
you're just a sucker for the ones who use you
and it doesn't matter what i say or do
the stupid bastard's gonna have his way with you...

you're an unrescuable schizo
or else you're on the rag
if you take him back
i'm gonna lose my nerve
i never met a more impossible girl....
i never met a more impossible girl....

at four o'clock he got off
and you called up
“i'm down at denny's on route one
and you won't guess what he's done”
is that a fact delilah?
larry tap let you in through the back
and use his calling card again
for a quick hand of gin

you are impossible, delilah: the princess of denial
and after 7 years in advertising you are none the wiser

you're an unrescuable schizo
or else you're on the rag
cause if you take him back
i'm gonna lose my nerve
he's gonna beat you like a pillow
you schizos never learn
and if you take him home
you'll get what you deserve

so don't cry delilah
you're still alive delilah
you need a ride delilah?
let's see how fast this thing can go....."

uhm..

2006-03-18T20:24:56Z

So... my aunt's husband got killed yesterday.
He crashed into a big truck with his car and died at once because of his injuries.
No one really knows why, it wasn't slippery on the road and stuff.
But apparently he felt sorta depressed or sad at the moment of the accident.

...Yeah.

Nananana~

2006-03-16T16:36:40Z

UppCon 06 soon!
All the sleepingplaces near the convention has already been booked. GAH!
So I might not take my HEAVY Gravel-20's (http://www.odiumclothing.net/items/boots/fullsize/gravel-20.jpg), as I don't want to carry them such a long way.
Well, I'll see how much place my cosplay will take.
My Vincent Valentine had more accessories, so it might weigh that much.

I'm going to be Go Go Yubari, and I'M FINALLY GOING TO SEE A REAL JAPANESE BAND IN LIVE ACTION!!!!!!!!
They're called Hagakure. It's more indie/pop than j-rock, but oh well...
Atleast it's a real japanese band xD

All I knew was shed and worthless now.

2006-01-16T07:20:23Z

Idon'tcareaboutschoolanymore.I'msureIwon'tbeacceptedintoMediaatHedbergska.Fuck.Whywouldtheywantanirresponsiblekidlikemeanyway?I'mgoingtobeyelledattodaybecauseofIdidn'tdomystupidessayabouttheapausebetweenWWIandWII.
I'msuckafuckingemokid.NoonewillreadthisanywaysoIguessit'sokay.
Ifeelstuck.Iamstuck.Mymindismyprison,asSilentHillNoEscapesays.orsomething.guh.Ihateschool.IhatethatIdon'tcareaboutit.
I'mgoingtofaileverything.Iwillhavetoretakeanotherschoolyear.I'muglyandevenheadmitsthatI'mfuckedup.Everythingthatwasstuckonmywallsarestartingtofalldownnow.Ashestoashesweallfalldown.nngh.Myroomisamess,justlikeme.Ishouldjustdeletethisshitjustincase---no,nooneeverreadsit,soIguessI'mokay.
Whatoncedidexistnowismeaningless.Guessitwasjustanecho.hrmph.allthecrackswillleadrighttome.

This isn't supposed to be read. I'm afraid I won't be able to get it out of my system if I just press CTRL+A and DELETE though. Sorry.

What once did exist, now is meaningless
And doesn't it seem funny, how soon you did forget
All the words have now lost their weight
But I remember, I remember

Desperation, devastation
All I truly know (all that I know...)
Is isolation
Self damnation
All life that I'd own
WAS SHED AND WORTHLESS NOW.

What I knew was wrong
One who lived is gone
Guess it was just an echo
When you would sing my song
(ECHO: you would sing my song)
All the notes you'd forgotten now
You left abandoned, I remember

Desperation, devastation
All I truly know (all that I know...)
Is isolation
Self Damnation
All life that I'd own
WAS SHED AND WORTHLESS NOW.

I can
hate myself
more...
more than anyone

WILL YOU JOIN ME?

I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT THIS
TORTURES ME.
HAVE I CREATED THE SUFFERING?
SHOW ME

Or do you happily cut, further in?
to sever what's left inside, that binds me.

Now all i feel is

Desperation, devastation
All I truly know (all that I know...)
Is isolation
Self damnation
All life that I'd own
WAS SHED AND WORTHLESS NOW.

Desperation, devastation
All I truly know (all that I know...)
Is isolation
Self damnation
All life that I'd own
WAS SHED AND WORTHLESS, WORTHLESS NOW.

This is my December

2005-11-05T23:41:27Z

This entry has been deleted because it sucked dick. :D

Shuuu~

2005-10-30T21:59:48Z

UppCon is on tuesday, so that's gonna be fuuuuun~
Unluckely loads of crap with my cosplay went wrong, including the gold spraypaint which got all runny... gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~

Oh well. I guess I might post pictures of the convention here, ooor... probably not. Because I don't use LiveJournal that much so people doesn't really care for pictures xD

*points*

How Skary is YOUR journal?

What did YOU do?

xD

Away from You

2005-09-15T19:49:44Z

Umph.
Come back when she has left you and seek comfort to the person you left behind?
Yeah.
Do I provide you comfort?
Yeah.
Did I throw up today?
Yeah.
Do I want to sleep a month?
Yeah.
Do I feel ugly?
Yeah.
Do I feel worthless?
Yeah.
Am I insignificant?
Yeah.
Does school mess with my head?
Yeah.
Does the thought of college make me want to stab myself in the chest repeatedly?
Yeah.
But do I want to be a ragdoll?
No.

......and the question that is always left unanswered is "do I want you to leave me alone, and will you, and never come back?".

Nyeh.

aaargh my back

2005-09-06T06:43:52Z

My back hurts. Really much. *pouts* xD
I have school today, as usual. It's only tuesday, bleh.
Reality has been fudging with my head, and it's starting to annoy me. No one of the people I talk to online feels real anymore.
Perhaps because they're like far, far away? Hmmmm~.

Meh. I'm almost finished with Suikoden IV. One of the bosses had tentacles.
I hate tentacles.
Tentacles and slime, especially when it's see-through, are the things that scares me the most x____x

I did a squid-man in clay on artclass yesterday. I liked him, until I made his face, hair and realised he had tentacles. x.o;
Yssew-chan made me do his so called package quite big and after it was done she complained on how you couldn't really see it. ROFL.

UppCon 05. zomg zomg zomg I'm happy. Because I'm going. I dunno how I'll do Vincent's Claw and how to get that glove... My town doesn't have those things anywhere xD
Meh, I'll browse around I guess. woot. long post. bai bai.

OMG EMO CHILD!!11

2005-08-31T06:26:04Z

...I don't care.

Life sucks. 8D

Aargh school stabs

2005-08-23T06:17:08Z

I started school yesterday :0
It was fun. Meeeeh I start college next year.
I don't wannaaa~ xD
I would've hated it if my friend Yssew-chan hadn't been just as tired as me, and as hyper as me.
So she kept talking about her yaoi manga's and said quite a lot of sentences wrong along the way xD <3
Apparently she hates it that they always censour the good stuff.
O_________o;

Total yaoi freak there for you. :B

Oh, on a random note...
Miyavi - Girls, be Ambitious is now my ringtone <3 *wanders away to school as it starts soon*

...What the...?

2005-08-16T04:46:12Z

Today while working on my gaming website (which you will surely hear a lot about as it is a part of my life, or rather a thing that keeps me from thinking about my life...), my dad's mother called.
Surprised as I was, I didn't say much, and she was her normal, cold self (well, I haven't met her since I was around 8, but back then, and she always has been, a very cold and solid person).
But then, when she started the sentence "...You're my grandchildren, and you're all I have, you're my flesh and blood you know?" she actually bursted into tears.
Oh yeah, she has cancer by the way.
*sighs* She scared and startled me. That just... Isn't her, starting to cry like that O___o;;
So me and my sister are going there on wednesday, and I have to call her tomorrow to tell her that.
It will be so awkward. And she doesn't even know I have black hair now. kehehehehe... x.o;

So after that call I got all "o.o.... ;-;.... o.o... ;-;...." xD But a dose of Miyavi (that failed :0000) and Bronson (that worked, zomg) fixed it.

So I'm good now. But just felt like ranting.

Just got here

2005-08-12T14:08:38Z

Yay, my first post. There's not too much to say, I just got here, and I don't know too much about the functions and stuff. Uh... Yeah. *waves bye bye*